Endless Pain For Eternity?
by ScaramoucheFigaro17
Summary: Alice loves Jasper, right? Carlisle loves Esme, right? Maybe. But what if Alice was forced to keep strong feelings to herself and now feels that she can't take it anymore? Will she leave? Or will there be a happy end? I suck at summeries! R&R! rewritten!
1. Confusion

Hey guys! So I rewrote this cap! I'm sooo much more satisfied with it now, still not thoroughly but it's o.k. I hope you like it! Please don't be too hard on me; English is not my first language!

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Loud voices could be heard from outside, one female one male. Even though Bell couldn't understand one single word that was said, she was still able to tell it was two people arguing. After a few seconds Alice entered the room through the window, followed by Carlisle.

"But _why_?" asked the elderly vampire with a confused look on his face. "I've already told you a million times now!" Alice screamed, throwing her hands up in frustration, a very unlike behavior for the usually bubbly girl. Instead of almost dancing across the room like she normally did, Alice let her feet thump hard against the floor. She looked like a sulking child, almost human. "But that's no reason Alice!" he tried to stay calm but failed completely, his calm façade crumbling away. "If it is no reason that I don't want to live as a vegetarian anymore, then what is one?" Her voice was filled with despair. Fists clenched she finally came to a halt, facing the wall. "O.K. it is a reason, but not _yours_!" Everyone watched them quietly and tried to figure out, what was going on, needless to say that they didn't really succeed. But they figured it was better to stay back and watch. Both of their family members were way out of character and the tension in the room started to build. "And how do you wanna know that?" the pixie like vampire yelled, her voice nearly breaking. "I know it!" he put his hands onto her shoulders to hold her back; she still wasn't facing him. "I know **YOU**!" Alice face saddened instantly and she looked like a small child, who had just been slapped across the face.

Looking at the floor she whispered, barely audible, "_You have no idea, you know nothing about me. Nothing._" He spun her around so she had to look at him, if she wanted or not. "**THAT **is not true and you know it!" although he wanted to seem confident, everyone noticed that he didn't really believe it himself, it sounded half-hearted. The young vampire looked him straight into the eye and with coldness in her voice, that no one thought her capable of she added "So? Do I?…well nothing that's important!"

Her whole body started trembling and if she had been able to cry, tears would be streaming down her face; but instead a dry sob escaped her lips. He didn't understand her, he didn't believe her, he just didn't! O.k. fine, maybe it wasn't the best idea, to tell him that she wanted to leave because she didn't want to live as a vegetarian anymore. She should have thought it through more clearly, but that was the first thing that came to her mind. She should have known better! It didn't sound the least bit reasonable. She had to find another reason and it better be a good one. She just had to leave, go somewhere else, somewhere far away from here, where they wouldn't find her and take Jasper with her. It would be horrible, if he found out the truth. He could not know. Never. None of them could know; her "oh so immortal" life would end right there on the spot. At first she had thought she could stand it, for all of them, but it was simply too much to bear. And if she kept this up, she would break.

"Alice, please stay! I love you." Carlisle begged, trying to catch her gaze, grabbing her shoulders even harder. She pulled away, with as much force as possible and screamed, her eyes showing immense pain "**NO YOU DON'T!**" and with that she stormed out of the window and into the forest leaving her family behind; confused and without a single clue about what just happened.

Each of them felt the urge to run after her, but at the same time they all knew, it was better to leave her alone for some time. She wouldn't talk to them anyway, she needed time to think. If Alice had an idea stuck in her head, it was hard to talk her out of it. She was stubborn like a mule but that has never been a problem before and all of them hoped it wouldn't become one now.

"Edward, do you know what's really going on with her? Why she wants to leave?", Carlisle's voice broke through the thick layer of silence "Alice wants to leave us?", Jasper's eyes widened in shock a faint wisp of agony clearly swinging in his voice. "Don't worry Jazz, she won't leave! And if, she'll take you with her, I'm sure!" Esme tried to calm him down instantly, wrapping him in a calming embrace, softly rocking him back and forth. "She won't leave, right? Carlisle? Edward?" The blond vampire asked in an alerted voice, looking at them alternately. Alice and Rosalie were like sisters, it didn't show often that they deeply cared for each other, but they surely did. It was obvious that Jasper needed her but she did too. "I'm not sure Rose, I'm not sure. I wish I would know, but I really don't. I'm sorry." Emmet felt his girlfriend tense beside him, and took her into his arms like Esme had done to Jasper before. She buried her face in the crook of his neck shuddering lightly.

"Edward? Do you know anything?" Carlisle sounded even more worried, the last shimmer of hope in his eyes had already died. Never had anyone seen him this helpless and out of control. "I don't. I have absolutely no clue. She blocked me out the whole time. She has already done that before." His face showed absolutely no emotion, he looked almost like a sculpture, but then again Edward always did. Sometimes it was hard to tell whether he actually couldn't feel or didn't want to jeopardize people's lives with emotions about things only he knew due to his mind reading ability. "Do you think it was always about the same thing?" "I'm not quite sure, it could have something to do with… Oh forget it!", he already turned around, ready to leave, pulling Bella with him. "_**Edward**_!" Bella could tell, Carlisle was close to losing his temper but also that Edward really dreaded to tell what he knew. Facing Carlisle again his expression softened and almost sympathetic look crossing his face, "Most of the time she did it, you were around." At this Carlisle's face faltered completely, Edward winced. "Carlisle, I'm sorry! I'm probably wrong, after all why should she? I bet I'm wrong! It's got to be coincidental!" But none of it worked, the elderly vampire didn't light up the slightest bit. "It's alright. It's not your fault. Thank you for telling me and for being honest." If one thought Edwards face was emotionless sometimes, they hadn't heard Carlisle's voice. "I think Alice isn't the only one who needs time to think now. I will retreat to my room now." "Darling?" Esme sounded so broken, she had already lost her child a long time ago and now it seemed like her family, would break apart. She had been sure they would stay together forever; what changed? "Don't worry." the blonde man mumbled as he hugged her close to his chest a dry sob escaping her lips, "It's gonna be alright, everything will be o.k. again." She nodded against his shoulder. He lifted her head up "I love you Esme" and with that he left. He loved her. Did he? She wasn't sure. Something made his eyes go cold.

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O.k. this is the last time I rewrote this chap! Now this is finall! ... No, really! :P xD

Anyway, as X-mas is comming up I decided that I should try updating all my unfinished stories, which of course includes this one here! So if you are lucky you will get an update by tomorrow or at least until the 25th.

Let's just hope I get kissed by the muse and spared by writer's block! :/ But it looks promising!^^


	2. What are we going to do now?

Wow! Now I didn't think it would work that fast! O.o

Well, it's not particularly long but if you are nice and I get some reviews, chances are high that there will be another chapter up soon! And this time I honestly mean soon! Soon, as "in a maximum of three days"!^^

So, the choice is yours!

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It had been a whole week but Alice was finally back. Everyone was glad she was and nobody dared to talk about what had happened, the fear that she might leave again was still pulsing trough their bodies. They acted as though nothing was different, no silence treatment or meaningful looks. Emmet was still making fun with and of her, Jasper was still kissing her, although he seemed a tad bit more passionate then usually, Rose still went shopping with her, Edward and her still played chess games, Esme and her still cooked food for Bella, even though it was far too much.

Alice wondered how long it would last, how long until one of them would speak about it, how long until they would burst. But they had agreed that it was up to her to decide whether she was ready to talk about it or not. Normally she would get visions about what was going to happen but everyone was so confused, no one knew what to do, there were no straights lines, hence nothing to foresee. This frustrated her to no end. It was like someone suddenly going blind, just out of nowhere. She new in order to see again she had to confront them but boy did she dread that. But there was no way around it, no loophole. She tried talking to them a couple of times. She would walk downstairs, step into the living room and open her mouth only for something to come out like "When is Bella going to come over?"

She tried, she really did! But she couldn't bring herself to, the hurtful expressions still burned in the back of her head. She simply couldn't do that alone, she knew _they_ wouldn't hurt her or anything but it was so damn hard to hurt _them_. Maybe it was the wrong approach to confront them all at once. Alice came to the conclusion that she should talk to Jasper first anyway. _That_ she could manage, he would make sure of it. And so she did. He did not ask much, he just accepted her decision; there was no way he would leave her. After all this time he loved her nonetheless and she was awed by it.

He told her, he would support her. And there he was, standing beside her, his hand rubbing slow circles over the small of her back, while she was standing in the middle of the room facing their family. "I need a break." she swallowed hard, her glance shifting to the floor suddenly finding an immense interest in it "I don't know for how long, but we WILL go away for some time." _Liar_ a voice screamed inside her head "We won't tell you were we're going, you won't be able to find us, doesn't matter how hard you try. We will be a family no matter what. If you need us, we're gonna be here. This is not about you." _Liar_ "I don't know what exactly is wrong, what is off." _Liar_ "But I do know that I need to sort this out myself." When her gaze met Carlisle's her eyes started burning, a nauseating feeling took over her. It took all her strength not to topple over and scream in pain. "**Jasper **is coming with me."

Silence. His eyes didn't leave hers, not for a single second and although he never wanted to have the ability to read minds like Edward, 'cause he thought it wrong to invade someone's personal space without them knowing or having a say in it, he'd given everything to be able to right then and there. His eyes begged her to stay, promised everything would be alright, told her they would work things out – _together_- but he knew she was going to leave, there was no stopping her. She had decided and it had taken too much effort to go back now. He was head of the family, so it was up to him to answer; everyone else was too shocked anyway. It took a great effort to keep a straight face but he managed "We accept your decision." "Carlisle, you can't let her leave!" Rose exclaimed, after she had finally found her voice again. Ignoring her Carlisle continued speaking "_**We**__ accept_ your decision. Feel free to leave and come back whenever you want to. You'll always be welcome." He took her into his arms and placed a soft kiss onto her head. Alice tensed beneath him but hugged him back anyway.

She pulled away, smiling at them even if that took all the strength she could muster. She had always hated goodbyes and this was no exception. Jasper, able to feel her despair, intertwined their fingers and took off into the wood. Both of them knew that if they had stayed only one second longer and would have taken the time for a proper goodbye, she wouldn't have been able to do this any longer. A few miles away from the house they stopped, Alice breaking down into a shuddering heap on the ground, unable to keep the facade anymore. Jasper was by her side immediately, comforting her and soothing her pain as much as he was able to, without using his special skills. He knew she wouldn't want him to, she had to feel it.

He hated seeing her in pain and he hated not knowing what was going on. But she didn't tell him and just like the gentleman he was he didn't ask. Not using his powers to help her became almost unbearable when she started screaming for it to stop... screw what she told him to do and not to do, if she loved him she would understand. Alice relaxed instantly, her eyes shooting daggers at him at first but then she pulled him in, crashing her lips to his as hard as possible. He kissed her back with the same amount of force, his eyes shooting open when she bit down onto his bottom lip. Softly pushing her away he lifted her chin with his finger "Alice, now is not the time. We've got to get going." She knew he was right, they had to leave if they didn't want to be followed. She pecked him on the lips once more and took his hand again. They ran until they had reached their destination, not stopping once.

They came to a halt in front of a little shack in the mountains, Jasper swiftly knocked and a petite woman stepped outside. "Jasper! You're finally here!" she greeted in a soft and musical voice smiling sweetly at him. When the brown haired woman tuned to face Alice the smile quickly changed into a somewhat evil smirk "You really took your time!" she sneered. Now she sounded rather harsh and annoyed, but then she had the tendency to be sharp, hadn't she. Anger flashed in Alice's eyes but before she was able to say anything Jasper spoke up smiling "It is very nice of you to let _us_ stay here, _we_ are very grateful!" The smile never left his lips and he had to admit that he was slightly amused; she was glaring at his arm that was now wrapped around his wife's waist. When he cleared his throat, she snapped out of her thoughts. A fake smile plastered onto her face she stepped aside and with a voice not the slightest bit friendlier almost threatening spoke the two words he needed to hear so desperately "**Come in!**"

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If you want to you can guess who the petite, brown haired woman is, it's really not that hard!

So this chap is kinda like a Christmas present for those who want to read it, so it would be nice if I get a review (as x-mas present)!

Constructive criticism is always appreciated!^^ :D

Gosh, I should stop rambling!


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